disaster bisexual buys an iced-coffee

Photo of an open notebook with handwriting on its pages, a pen, and a plastic cup sitting on a table. The notebook is being held open by a hand in the bottom left corner. Pink filter over image. White text in the centre reads: "disaster bisexual buys an iced coffee".

disaster bisexual
buys an iced coffee in february
with the intention to discreetly
slip a straw under their mask
and sip it while riding the train
disaster bisexual
orders in english
to be considerate of subjecting the barista
to their pronunciation en français
so early in the morning
disaster bisexual
orders an iced coffee
et un wrap-matin du travailleur
sans la saucisse
sorry, with sausage? you said sausage
no sausage
eggs please, cheese please
ok, with the hashbrown?
, please!
the wrap, the hashbrown
the iced coffee with caramel (we’re out of syrup)
is passed over the counter to the disaster bisexual
who looks at the funny lid
and remembers that straws are illegal
with their plan gone out the window
they find themselves consuming
their cold caffeinated drink
completely naked
in the face

Published by Sage Pantony

Sage Pantony is a writer, poet, and zinester. They write about gender, sexuality, mental health, trauma, creativity, and the best ways to cook eggs. They are the author of several zines, including a trilogy about transitioning as a non-binary person. Sage’s work has appeared in publications such as Coven Poetry, Idle Ink, and The Varsity. They currently reside in Tiohtià:ke/Montréal with their pet dinosaur, Peter.

2 thoughts on “disaster bisexual buys an iced-coffee

  1. My current company does a lot of business with Quebec. Our shipping orders must be done in both English and French. Not sure if my superior knows French already, uses a translation service, or if our shipping software automatically includes stuff in French. I will soon start learning our software hopefully as of Monday or sometime soon—I might have to learn some myself! (I’d upgrade from bilingual to trilingual—I speak enough Spanish to get by with coworkers already, they are impressed!)


    1. Best of luck! Starting to learn a new language can be challenging, but when in doubt, Google Translate is always there to help, haha. Since moving to Quebec, I’ve navigated a lot of forms, legal documents, and mail in French, and Google has helped me a lot with those!


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