Red Mug

Content note: this piece contains references to death and the COVID-19 pandemic. I pour myself a cup of coffee in a red mug from the place they started taking me when I was a baby. I pour myself a cup of coffee from the place with the hill where I ran, tumbled, and lost my ice-creamContinue reading “Red Mug”

Feeling Stuck

Lately, I’ve been feeling stuck. I’ve grown tired of the repetitiveness of my routine. I’ve been asking myself what the point of it all is. Where is this leading? Why am I doing it? What’s the purpose?

Hello, Imposter Syndrome, Old Buddy, Old Pal

Content note: this piece contains casual mentions of apocalypse, death, and a lack of overall meaning. I did a reading the other night. I was sandwiched between authors who spun stories and poetry full of metaphor, who spoke words layered with meaning, who filled the room with depth and imagery. I got up and readContinue reading “Hello, Imposter Syndrome, Old Buddy, Old Pal”

Inside the MRI

I lie on my back with my head ear-muffed inside the MRI scanner, listening to bad club music, trying not to laugh, and thinking about death. The awkward redheaded technician is visible as a shapeshifting shadow through the glass. They’ve provided a mirror inside the machine so I can see them and not have a panic attack.

26 This Spring

I was sick last night. I lay on the bathroom floor for hours, shaking. Something went wrong in my body and I felt it in every part of me. I could barely keep my eyes open. I was alone. I lay there and cycled through the following: I wish this wasn’t happening, I wish this wasn’t happening, what’s wrong, when is it going to stop, what did I do wrong, why is this happening, I wish this wasn’t happening…