I Come Back Again

Photo of a coffee cup sitting on a counter, shot from above, with latte art of a smiling cat's face on it. White text in the centre of the image reads: "I leave the city in summer, and I come back again." Handle @sage_pantony in smaller transparent text under white text.

I leave the city in summer and return to winter (but do not fear, I was not gone for more than 21 consecutive days).

The snow is here, the leaves are gone, and the moisture has been pulled from the air–frozen.

I buy a great big bag of salt while out with a friend and carry it on my shoulder for the long walk home. She offers to help, but I did this to myself.

I bid on a painting at a Denny’s as a joke, and of course, I win. A Selection of Seagulls will hang above my couch in 10-14 business days.

I start writing again, just to help and without expectation. I realize not writing had also been hurting.

The anxiety eases. The pain lessens. I’m sleeping again. My heart, which had been breaking, begins to mend.

I leave the city in summer, and I come back again.

Published by Sage Pantony

Sage Pantony is a writer, poet, and zinester. They write about gender, sexuality, mental health, trauma, creativity, and the best ways to cook eggs. They are the author of several zines, including a trilogy about transitioning as a non-binary person. Sage’s work has appeared in publications such as Coven Poetry, Idle Ink, and The Varsity. They currently reside in Tiohtià:ke/Montréal with their pet dinosaur, Peter.

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